As humans, when something bad happens to us, we have a primal instinct for revenge. It is the animal in us that wants blood and gore as payment for the injustice that’s been done to us. It’s a means of protecting ourselves and our loved ones.
Often, getting the blood and gore will get us in trouble. Also other acts like scratching the offender’s car might feel satisfying in that one moment – but they won’t really satisfy us in the long run and may even be detrimental to our recovery.
Shortly after I found out about my ex husband’s affair, I went into a store and found a plate that said “Living Well Is The Best Revenge”. Of course I bought it and it now sits on top of my dresser and proudly holds my keys and other knick knacks.
I write this blog from a place of healing. At present, I am about a year and 4 months post trauma. My trauma is finding out that my ex husband had been cheating on me for 3 years. I can’t say I’m fully recovered yet – because life is a series of experiences and triggers. But I come from a place of greater empowerment now.
The best and healthiest revenge you’ll have is when you are no longer defined by the bad situation that happened to you and are finally able to live life authentically according to your own terms. So while you may harbor some revenge fantasies such as pouring paint all over their clothes, keep those fantasies as fantasies. Instead focus on the long term goal. I promise that you will have greater satisfaction in the end.