I hope you had a good weekend. I certainly did.
On Saturday evening, I organized my first Meetup dinner with complete strangers. The premise of my Meetup group is basically a social mixer for divorced singles who don’t have plans on weekends and would like to do something fun.
At dinner, one of the ladies who’s been divorced 15 years commented on how it’s been difficult and lonely and how she’s dated here and there but never found anyone. After dinner, she pulled me aside and told me to organize a night out.
” Divorced people need to go out as well you know,” she said.
I am a firm believer that you are responsible for your own happiness. You can’t control if bad stuff will happen to you. You can’t foresee when bad stuff is going to happen to you. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it. And only you can choose whether you want to reclaim your life and be happy after the grieving period. Or if you want to stay victimized and depressed forever.
To create your own happiness, you have to be deliberate about it. You can’t rely on another person to make you happy. In the above example of the lady who’s been finding it difficult post divorce for 15 years, she should have found ways to make herself feel happy and feel good about herself.
- Identify what you need. For example if getting compliments on your looks makes you happy, see if there are any changes you can make to your lifestyle – perhaps healthy eating or buying a few new pieces for your wardrobe that will help make you feel happy.
If you are scared of feeling lonely, spend some time with your friends. If your friends have no time for you, research your community to see if there are any social gatherings. Get out there and meet new people.
- Fill your time with meaningful activities. For example on Sunday, I had an ice skating lesson and a pole dancing lesson. In between those two lessons, I walked 2 miles along the Hudson River to enjoy the beautiful weather and sights and I just felt so happy.
You really don’t need much to be happy. It’s really the little things that count. But you have to be deliberate and make happiness happen for yourself.
And yes – I am definitely organizing a ‘going out’ Meetup soon.