A Letter To My Daughter On International Women’s Day

Dear Daughter,

You are entering a very exciting phase in your life. You and I – we moved to New York City about six months ago. You started kindergarten and you’ve made many new friends – heck you have more of a social life than I do with all your play dates. And yesterday you went for your first audition – your first audition was for a Broadway musical in Times Square – isn’t that awesome?

Yesterday your dad came out to support you for your audition. So we did spend some time together as a family. And your dad took you out to dinner last night while I went to the gym. When I came to pick you up, you invited your dad up to our apartment but we both told you that’s not a good idea and your dad left. When you came back to our apartment, you told me you were sad and you were missing daddy already. At bed time, you cried because you said you missed your daddy.

I let you have a good cry. I do empathize with you my dear – I really do. But I am over feeling guilty about you having to live with divorced parents. Because it wasn’t me who tore our family apart. In the beginning, your dad and his parents would blame me for wanting the divorce. However if he did not cheat on me, would I have wanted a divorce? No – in fact I was working really hard on our marriage but a marriage takes two hands to clap – I can’t fix a marriage alone. And cheating is a deal breaker. 

And the thing is – my honeybun – the man who I loved with all my heart never once apologized to me what he did to me. And he never begged me to forgive him. He moved on really quickly. So why should I be with someone who clearly never wanted to be with me?

And my darling when you grow up and if you ever do find yourself in this situation – be it in a romantic relationship or in a friendship or at work – if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are no longer valued and respected, you hold your head up high and you walk too. You don’t beg. However painful it may be. However scared you may feel. You pull yourself together and you walk away with your dignity intact. Because trust me – everything will be alright.

So today on International Women’s Day, my hope is that you will grow up to be a strong woman who is not afraid to pursue her dreams. Whether it’s to sing onstage in a Broadway musical, or to be the President or to be a mom, your possibilities are endless and you never give up until you’ve tried your hardest. And you are responsible for your own happiness. If you choose to be alone, that’s perfectly fine. If you choose to be in a relationship, I pray that it will be a relationship filled with mutual respect and love for each other. Do not ever let your fears take over you. Live a life with integrity.

I love you baby. Happy International Women’s Day!


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