Your New Normal

Dear friends,

As you settle into your new life, you will begin to develop new routines and habits. The changes could include a change in your daily routine, behavior and mindset. Soon the new will become your new normal. 

For me, my new normal is embracing the single mom lifestyle. It’s just me and my kid for now and I’m determined to have a fun life with her. Even though we are 31 years apart, I regard her as my little companion. We go out to eat at restaurants together. We go to the movies together. We check out museums together. We travel together. Yes I am currently limited by her schedule and her preferences – I need to make sure the restaurants we go to serve pizza, chicken nuggets or fries, and the only movies we watch together are cartoons… I’m sure our preferences will be more aligned as she gets older. 

Rome wasn’t built in a day so it’ll take time for you to get used to your new normal. There will be good days and there will be bad days. On those bad days when I’m beyond exhausted, I would get irritated at my daughter for not doing what I want her to do. And I would resent the fact that I’m doing this parenthood thing alone. And I would get worried that this is how the rest of my life is going to be – that I will never date or be in a relationship with a man again and I’ll just be resigned to growing old alone once my daughter grows up and has a life of her own. But then I will go to bed and the next day I will feel better.

And every time I feel tempted to sign up for a dating app or reconnect with an old fling just to get that validation, I remind myself that I’m choosing to be intentionally single right now because I don’t want to have to deal with emotional drama. And that I’m choosing to focus all my energy on my daughter.

So as you adjust to your new normal, know that it takes time for you to get used to your new life. And know that on some days you might regress. But as time goes by, you will be more comfortable in your new life and it will no longer be a new life but your normal life. Stay strong and stay focused on forging that new fabulous life of yours. 

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